It's been a very long time since I last wrote in this blog and I can't even say how long because I deleted my previous posts. But I've had a lot of stuff on my mind and want to let it out. I hand write in a journal I got from my sister Pepe but I've always liked blogging better.
On March 18th, I got the news that my uncle nae's girlfriend Nikkey passed away due to a bad car accident. They say her and the other person in the vehicle weren't wearing seat belts and were both ejected from the car. Man, when I got the news, I couldn't believe it. I only met Nikkey once since her and Nae got together but just that one time was enough for me to know that Nikkey was one of the most sweetest, kind hearted people I knew. She took care of me and my sisters that were there. She fed us and hung out with us. She always wrote me on facebook and instagram, always saying she loves me and my family. In short, she was just amazing. I never met anyone like her who just always smiled and cared SOO much for the people in her life.
Not only is she my uncle nae's girlfriend but she is the mother of my first cousin, Kzyn. She was more than just my aunt by relation but she was like a sister. At least that's how me and my family felt about her. While in hawaii, I talked with my sisters and we shared how the way we felt when we found out my first cousin Sosi passed away, was the same way we felt about when we found out about Nikkey.
Anyways so my fiance Kovi flew me out to hawaii to be with my family. The first night there, we went to Nikkey's family's house to give them our Sila(enevelope with money) and some mats/blankets. I remember meeting Nikkey's grandparents(who she lived with) last time I was there but that was a long time and figured they wouldn't remember me. Nonetheless, they welcomed us with open arms and we all cried together. That was the first night I met Nikkey's mom and she looked just like her. It was crazy. They aren't mormon so my family did out best in comforting them and assuring them that they will be able to see Nikkey again on the other side and that she wasn't completely gone. Physically maybe but spiritually, she'd always be around. It hurt me to see Kzyn walking around because even though they say he doesn't understand because he's still young, I think is an understatement. He knew Nikkey and spent all his time with her so to go from one day spending time with her to the next day, her not being around..I'm assuming it's a really hard thing to understand especially at his age.
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| My family at Nikkey's viewing |
Tuesday that week was Nikkey's viewing and it was a short and sweet thing. They could only take so many people at a time to see her so as soon as my family got there, nikkey's mom took us up. I didn't really want to see her face. I mean I couldn't. As soon as Grandpa moved out the way and her face came into view, my heart dropped. Even now at this moment, I still don't think it's hit me yet. I told myself that the woman laying there wasn't nikkey...but someone else. I don't think it will hit me until the next time I go to hawaii and I realize Nikkey won't be coming over with food or something. One thing I am grateful though in this hard time is the gospel. I cant imagine not having the knowledge that I if I do what I need to do, I'll be able to see all my loved ones that passed onto the other side. I'm looking forward to that day where I'll be able to see my grandma's, grandpa, sosi...and nikkey now. I miss you nikkey and I love you.
