The best but most tiring, stressful, and busiest day of my life

It's been a very long time since the last time I posted here so please forgive me if this post is just all over the place.

APRIL 15, 2016

The date of my wedding.

Like the title says, although it was one of the most tiring, stressful, busiest days of my life, it was also the best day of my life. I mean, I got married to the love of my life so why wouldn't it be?

Let's start at the beginning though.

Since our wedding was just a civil one(still working on getting on that eternal status, but hopefully soon), we wanted to keep it as lowkey as possible. Not because we were embarrassed or anything like that but because we were and still are planning to have a big celebration once we get sealed. As you can guess, seeing as we are polynesian, our families weren't a big fan of that. When I say our families, I mean mostly my family. I don't blame them of course. They just wanted the best for me and Kovi and didn't want me to regret not having anything. I'll admit, it was probably one of the hardest times I had in my life because I didn't realize until then how much of their opinion matters to me. Also, how much of a people pleaser I really am...or was. My older siblings and mom wanted to have a dance and they said they'd take care of everything but how could they? They lived all the way in Utah. So that wasn't very reassuring to me.Besides, Kovi and I had already decided on just dinner after the ceremony. With just our families.

That wasn't the case of course and it turned out a lot bigger than we had expected or planned..but compared to usual polynesian weddings, it was still small. Does that make sense? 

Anyways, going on....

So after much discussion with my mom, we decided to get our marriage certificate literally the day of our wedding because we had scheduled our wedding on friday and our families from out of town weren't going to be arriving until thursday night or friday. That was probably one of the worst decisions ever mainly because after, I had to rush and get ready for our ceremony but I don't regret anything.

Us in our tongan wear

Earlier in our engagement, I remember talking to my mom and telling her that I wanted us to dress in the tongan traditional wear for when we go to get our marriage certificate. You can guess my excitement when my step-grandma arrived with my grandpa with my puletaha and me and Kovi's taovala's. I will forever be grateful for her and my mom and my aunties that made it possible for us to wear the tongan clothes. 

Having my mom and step grandma get me ready that morning, it was still kind of surreal to me that I was getting married. That me and Kovi were getting married. We had been together for 4 years already so this was a bit long overdue in my mind. I had been wanting to marry this man. It didn't really hit me until we actually got inside the office to get our marriage certificate. I was shaking so bad and was so nervous for some reason...even though it wasn't even our ceremony. My older sister Pauline stood with me and helped calm my nerves.

After we got that, I headed home to change and get ready and my little sister Choco did my make up. I'm not gonna lie...it was on point. I was lookin flyyy hahaha

Us and my siblings

The ceremony itself happened pretty fast. Surprisingly, I didn't break into tears but Kovi was on the verge of it...which made my heart smile. Afterwards, my sister in law, Kovi's older sister, Savea, had gotten a photographer for us so we took pictures and that was pretty stressing because no one listened...or I had to yell something like 5 times in a row for them to listen, LOL.

Afterwards, we went to the buffet and even though I only made the reservation for 30 people, which we were over, they graciously had saved half of the dining room for our party so everything turned out okay. Sad thing was I was so tired and worn out that I didn't eat anything at all. INSERT MAJOR SAD FACE because the Wandering Horse Buffet(the one we went to) is by far one of the best casino buffets I have been too.

Overall, despite all the little stressful things, it really was the best day of my life. All of my family(immediate) was there. I married the love of my life. It was pure bliss.

I couldn't be more happier. Now here's some pics from that day.

Us with Mone sidebusting lol

Us with our siblings

Us with my oldest brother, step grandma, aunty, Kovi's brother and sister and dad

Us with my sisters

Love, me.

Looking forward to heaven

It's been a very long time since I last wrote in this blog and I can't even say how long because I deleted my previous posts. But I've had a lot of stuff on my mind and want to let it out. I hand write in a journal I got from my sister Pepe but I've always liked blogging better.

On March 18th, I got the news that my uncle nae's girlfriend Nikkey passed away due to a bad car accident. They say her and the other person in the vehicle weren't wearing seat belts and were both ejected from the car. Man, when I got the news, I couldn't believe it. I only met Nikkey once since her and Nae got together but just that one time was enough for me to know that Nikkey was one of the most sweetest, kind hearted people I knew. She took care of me and my sisters that were there. She fed us and hung out with us. She always wrote me on facebook and instagram, always saying she loves me and my family. In short, she was just amazing. I never met anyone like her who just always smiled and cared SOO much for the people in her life.

Not only is she my uncle nae's girlfriend but she is the mother of my first cousin, Kzyn. She was more than just my aunt by relation but she was like a sister. At least that's how me and my family felt about her. While in hawaii, I talked with my sisters and we shared how the way we felt when we found out my first cousin Sosi passed away, was the same way we felt about when we found out about Nikkey. 

Anyways so my fiance Kovi flew me out to hawaii to be with my family. The first night there, we went to Nikkey's family's house to give them our Sila(enevelope with money) and some mats/blankets. I remember meeting Nikkey's grandparents(who she lived with) last time I was there but that was a long time and figured they wouldn't remember me. Nonetheless, they welcomed us with open arms and we all cried together. That was the first night I met Nikkey's mom and she looked just like her. It was crazy. They aren't mormon so my family did out best in comforting them and assuring them that they will be able to see Nikkey again on the other side and that she wasn't completely gone. Physically maybe but spiritually, she'd always be around. It hurt me to see Kzyn walking around because even though they say he doesn't understand because he's still young, I think is an understatement. He knew Nikkey and spent all his time with her so to go from one day spending time with her to the next day, her not being around..I'm assuming it's a really hard thing to understand especially at his age.

My family at Nikkey's viewing

Tuesday that week was Nikkey's viewing and it was a short and sweet thing. They could only take so many people at a time to see her so as soon as my family got there, nikkey's mom took us up. I didn't really want to see her face. I mean I couldn't. As soon as Grandpa moved out the way and her face came into view, my heart dropped. Even now at this moment, I still don't think it's hit me yet. I told myself that the woman laying there wasn't nikkey...but someone else. I don't think it will hit me until the next time I go to hawaii and I realize Nikkey won't be coming over with food or something. One thing I am grateful though in this hard time is the gospel. I cant imagine not having the knowledge that I if I do what I need to do, I'll be able to see all my loved ones that passed onto the other side. I'm looking forward to that day where I'll be able to see my grandma's, grandpa, sosi...and nikkey now. I miss you nikkey and I love you.